Let me start this off by saying I have been excited for this movie since I saw The Dark Knight back in 2008. These four years have been long and grueling but here we are, it's finally here. The Dark Knight Rises.
And I really, really wish it wasn't.
I am absolutely disappointed. And shocked, truly. I refuse to accept that as the movie we were promised.
Right from the get go, from the very beginning, I struggled with diving into the movie and being apart of that world, like I so easily can with other good movies.
It was all so underwhelming. Certain things that we were shown in the trailers that we expected to have epic reasons behind can be described with one word: lackluster.
Most of my angst toward this movie is directed at the pacing, which was awful. It was all so rushed, and that's bad, because the movie is almost three hours long. Right from the very beginning of the movie it's as if every actor's goal is to say their lines rapidly towards one another until one of them pauses right at the moment when they SHOULD have been quick with their delivery, and after what is supposed to be that dramatic pause they say the line. But then it's back to rapid fire delivery, things happening so fast, that the audience can barely keep up, but they just know that something is happening and it has the words "Christopher Nolan" stamped on it, so whatever it is, it's perfection.
Lets not start with the dialogue though - laughable. And that's only when I could actually understand what ANYONE was saying. For some reason this movie was obsessed with mumbling. And the awkward humor that just stood out and did not fit into the storyline at all. ".... call me!" "Now I know what it feels like." Those two scenes should have been cut off before those lines. It would have spared me from all the red I was seeing.
Bruce Wayne being in the prison was something I was really looking forward to - and it turned out to be quite possibly the dumbest part of the movie. I'd go into more detail, but I'm attempting to leave out as few spoilers as possible.
One of my pet peeves in movies is the forced romance cliche - and it's happened before in comic book movies before (See: Thor/Whateverhernamewas). And that's exactly how you can describe the romance between Bale and Hathaway (both did a great job with their characters, though): Forced. It was just... there. Out of nowhere. And I, as an audience member, am supposed to suddenly care about that? No, it doesn't work like that. It's gotta be built up, there's gotta be reason behind it.
Speaking of not caring, I did not care about the characters (save for that fantastic first fight between Bane and Batman. Oh my god, my breath was taken away) at all. There was no reason to. There was no backstory to half of them and then when you learn Bane's backstory, it sounds so forced into that scene.
And Bane. Oh, Bane. I'm sure Tom Hardy was a fantastic Bane.... if I could remember it. Oh yeah, he was evil, he was cold blooded, he was ruthless. But he was forgettable. Critics promised a villain of higher stature than Ledger's Joker and wow, talk about baseless hyperbole.
Michael Caine returns as Alfred, in what is about MAYBE 10 minutes of screen time before **************SPOILER********************* Him and Bruce have what is SUPPOSED to be an emotional, heartbreaking scene, but it boils down to just another example of it all being there, just no reason to care. Nolan's inspiration from Lord Of The Rings really shows here, but sorry Nolan, Peter Jackson did the whole "two companions splitting up over a misunderstanding" thing far better than you (See: Return of the King). ****END SPOILER****
Even Michael Caine, glorious actor that he is, could not save this movie. Him and JGL were not good in their respective roles. Everyone else's acting was just fine.
AND now we are Joseph Gordon-Levitt's character. Or should I say John Blake? Or should I say *******SPOILER******** Robin Johnathan Blake?
....
No. Sorry. Doesn't work. Nolan, that's stupid. Never let your brother work with you again. That is STUPID. STUPID. STUPID. You do NOT have a Robin Easter egg be THAT. His FIRST. NAME. ****END SPOILER****
But fine, whatever. I can forgive that, I suppose.
What I cannot forgive is that terrible ending. THAT is the literal definition of cop-out. For a movie budget rumored to be 250 million dollars, the ********SPOILER************* Bat flying away with the bomb had to have been one of the worst looking effects I've ever seen in a movie, and I watch the Sci-Fi channel. **********END SPOILER******* And that's all I have to say about the ending. Terrible. Cliche. Cop Out. WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU NOLAN? HOW did you let this slip by your keen, talented eye? I mean, you've done pathetic happy ending's before (See: Batman Begins), but just.... WOW. And not a good WOW.
The (only) good parts of the movie:
1. The fight scenes were awesome, especially that first fight with Bane. Wow. Just.... wow. That's an example of a good wow.
2. The acting, besides Michael Caine and JGL, was very, very good.
3. I loved the *******************SPOILER*********************** No Mans Land inspiration.
.... and I think that's it.
I give this movie a two of ten, and that makes me very, very sad. This movie promised a lot, but delivered very, very little.