"Steve Austin, astronaut. A man barely alive. Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the technology. We have the capability to make the world's first bionic man. Steve Austin will be that man. Better than he was before. Better...stronger...faster." Growing up in the 70’s and early 80’s, my addiction to comics and superheroes was evident. I stood at the comic rack at the grocery store while my mom did her shopping. Everyone knew not to bother the weird little kid at the rack. I never left without getting a comic book either, It was the only thing that keep me calm and quiet in the car.
I had my favorite shows back then like The Incredible Hulk, Wonder Woman, Sanford and Son and CHiPs, but my absolute favorite was The Six Million Dollar Man. I’m sure everyone is familiar with this show or at least the new comic book series updated by Kevin Smith.
The Six Million Dollar Man was played by Lee Majors, who became a pop culture icon during the 70’s. The show was about an astronaut who was involved in a terrible accident while working for the OSI (which was usually referred to as the
Office of Scientific Intelligence, the Office of Scientific Investigation or the
Office of Strategic Intelligence.
His right arm, both legs and the left eye are replaced by "bionic" implants that enhance his strength, speed and vision far above human norms: he can run at speeds of 60 miles per hour (100 km/h), and his eye has a 20:1 zoom lens and infrared capabilities while his limbs all have the equivalent power of a bulldozer.
The show is based on the novel Cyborg by Martin Caidin and it aired on the ABC network from 1974 to 1978, had three television movies aired in 1973. Steve Austin and Jaime Sommers returned in three subsequent made-for-television movies: The Return of the Six Million Dollar Man and the Bionic Woman (1987), Bionic Showdown (1989).
My movie would be a big budget, action pack, special effect extravaganza!
Of course, I would change it to the "six billion dollar man" or set it back in the 70’s where it belongs.
Here’s my cast.
Col Steve Austin (Lee Majors)-Josh Duhamel
He played a great soldier in the Transformers flicks. I don't feel like an astronaut is exactly a soldier but more of a military scientist but his build and looks would make him a believable astronaut cyborg. Plus with the budget this movie would have, I would want a cheaper actor for the lead since my supporting roles actor are going to be huge stars.
Oscar Goldman Director of the OSI (Richard Anderson)-Tom Hanks
He is one of the best actors of our generation. No one can deny that. I’m judging this from his roles in Apollo 13 and Road To Perdition and even a little Castaway, where he portrayed a tough, firm, leader type character.
Dr Rudy Wells (Martin E. Brooks)-Robert Downey Jr
His fast talking and timing is why I like him for a brilliant Dr. Wells and he would add a little levity to the film. Hanks and Downey’s fees for these supporting roles would be pretty big so I’m trying to be as realistic as possible for this.
(seasons 3-5, as well as on The Bionic Woman and in three movies)
Jaime Sommers (Lindsay Wagner)-Naomi Watts
I didn’t want a super model who couldn’t act or a big action star who over acts, so I went with Watts who is a nice medium for this action movie. She looks “plain” enough to be tough and beautiful just like she was in King Kong. I think Duhamel and Watts would look believable together as well.
Peggy Callahan secretary to Oscar Goldman (Jennifer Darling)-Meg Ryan
I like her because I had a crush on her since I was a little kid. She is getting up there in age and I would like to see her do something before she turns into Betty White.
Oliver Spencer Director of the OSO (Darren McGavin)-Ed Harris
I wanted a very tough looking older man to play the very first director of the agency that funded all this. Harris looks like he has seen some action back in the day.
Maskatron (John Saxon)-Timothy Olyphant
I again went with a cheaper actor, but his roles in Hitman, where he looks emotionless most of the time and The Crazies where he was pretty cool under pressure, made him my favorite for this cyborg villain. Special Effects would play a big part for him anyways since he changes his appearance. I would throw some cameos in here from the TV show as some of his disguises.
Fembots-Rosario Dawson/Kelly Hu/Eva Mendes
These gorgeous ladies wouldn’t have many lines and they are cast purely for eye candy. I chose each of them for certain attributes, see if you can tell which ones. Example: Mendes’ voluptuous backside from the terrible Spirit movie. How many times did you guys run that scene back? I did about 25 times before my wife told me to burn the movie. All my Fembots have previously starred in CBM's. My little nod to CBM's, I guess.
Bigfoot (Andre The Giant)-Paul Wight
Since he would have no lines and all we need is a giant size mean looking man who will be covered in hair. I chose him because he hasn’t been in a big action flick as far as I know.
This show had
alot of the biggest stars appear as guests including Lee Majors famous sex symbol wife Farrah Fawcett.
Thanks for your time.