*Sips from glass of scotch whilst reading The Odyssey* Oh, hey, I didn't see you there. Why don't you take a seat and get comfy? Okay, so since you're here let's get down to it. I finally received the chance and free time to watch the Super-Man reboot known as Man Of Steel- yeah fun flick, not bad but it's not a perfect flick in-fact let's be honest no film is perfect.
As I Sat upon my throne watching the film in question I realized there was some dumb stuff like the "dick measuring contest." Along with the "oh-so-awesome" one-liner "He's kinda hot." But then we get the bad-ass Faora vs. Clark/Kal-El scene. Then we get confusing scenes like when Middle School aged Clark saves the kids on the bus and the bully's mom comes to the Kents to gripe about how not only Clark saved her son, but the lives of the kids and the bus driver. Note To Teenage Clark: never save anyone ever again.
But i'm not here to review the movie, oh no, i'm here to talk about the one thing the movie was missing. The one thing keeping this movie from going from decent to great. If Warner Bros truly, truly wants to make their cinematic universe gripping, dramatic, and entertaining they need this one thing. Right now I know you're asking how could one minor plot point or one piece of special effects-seeing how it is Zack Snyder-make all the difference? It's all m atter of looking at past films, comics, and any other piece of Super-Man lore and finding all the pieces of the puzzle.
But first let me just remind you guys the plot of Man Of Steel, not that you need it but it seg-ways into my topic. Man Of Steel is the story of Clark Kent/ Kal-El, an alien from Krypton sent to Earth after his planet is destroyed only to be pursued by a group of war criminals- General Zod and his followers. Now he must choose to either protect Earth from ultimate destruction and defeat Zod, or let Zod replicate Krypton into Earth. Remember that name boys and girls, General Zod, whom was also a villain in Super-Man 2.
So now we get down to the very core of this article... Shall i say... Nuclear core?
THE.
ONE.
GREAT.
THING NEEDED.
IS.
THIS.
That's right boys and girls, The Cellophane S Throne At Zod. Why is it important? Remember, one of Kal's many abilities is his heightened intelligence (At One Point He Almost Cured Cancer.) So the Cellophane S could be one of his greatest inventions in future films.
Think about it, any attack that any villain would try against Super-Man would be delayed for 30 seconds... Well Super-Man can fly across the globe in 10... So... Imagine what he could accomplish with 30. The untapped power of the Cellophane S is limitless, its about as limitless as Bradley Cooper. all of the power in plastic wrap chest symbols is at Kal-El's fingertips.
If this isn't a reminder of how bad-ass Cellophane S's are, remember the line said by Kal-El played by Henry Cavill "It Isn't an S, on my planet it is a symbol of hope." There you have it, Cellophane S has turned to Cellophane of Hope. Oh boy, oh boy, I think Lois Lane is getting a little hot under the collar.
Now ask yourself what does this have to do with The World's Finest? Easy, double the superheroes, double the plastic wrap. Cellophane Of Hope and Cellophane Of Fear/Justice (whichever one Affleck's Bat-Man will represent.) Why stop at Supes and Bats. Lex Luther... hell if he can build a giant robot fighting suit then he can make a Cellophane head cap. It would be gross but it could be cool.
Come on, look at the destruction left by General Zod and his cronies. all of this could have been prevented with a little carefully tossed plastic wrap... unless the person he throws it at has heat vision or just rips through it with their strength... But that is beside the point. What I'm getting at is Bat-Man may have Batarangs, Bat-Mobiles, Batcopters, Wonder Woman may have a dinky lasso and a jet that she can't even remember where is parked... and Aqua-Man? Tridents are for Poseidon cos-players and freaks.... Creepy bastards... But there can be only one with the Cellophane S. Just look at that creepy, aquatic bastard.
So in conclusion, there can be only one true way for Warner Bros and Dc Comics to improve on Man Of Steel with their Zack Snyder directed sequel. Let me throw some new titles for the aforementioned sequel that suit it better than boring old The World's Finest or Super-Man/Bat-Man.
Cellophane S- The Best Never Rest.
Cellophane S- The Truest Of Heroes.
Cellophane S- With a Vengeance.
Cellophane S- Back In Black.
Cellophane S- Turn Off The Dark.