Fanfic: The Deadpool Teaser

Fanfic: The Deadpool Teaser

Fox needs to pull out something special to get us excited about The Merc with The Mouth.

By MikesPants - Jan 12, 2011 06:01 AM EST
Filed Under: Fan Fic



I think we are all in agreement that Fox 'mishandled' Deadpool. That's me being as diplomatic as I can.

With the currently "in development" Deadpool spin-off slowly creeping forward Fox has a very real opportunity to make a very unique comic-book movie. Regardless of what you think of him, Deadpool is unlike any other mainstream comic book character and his "Barakapool" portrayal in X-Men Origins: Wolverine wasn't just lazy, it was utterly pointless. It was shallow fan service that didn't service anything, including the fans.

I actually think Fox could be very smart here and use the lukewarm reaction to Wolverine if and when the Deadpool marketing campaign starts. Self awareness has never been one of Fox's strengths but the studio seems to be changing direction. The recent promos for the new series of Fringe used the dreaded "Friday Death Slot" to sell the show.

Fox can employ that kind of thinking to the promotion of Deadpool. As a serial fourth wall breaker, the Deadpool teaser could see him trying to make his own movie in response to Wolverine.

With that in mind I offer my idea for a Deadpool teaser.

It starts with Barakapool skulking through a Dark corridor. He stops mid stride and turns to face the camera. As his eyes begin to glow a sword spears him from behind and cleaves him in two. He falls to the ground revealing Deadpool (with his mask) in an immaculate tuxedo. With bloodied sword in one hand and a meat cleaver in the other, he crouches down, just out of view of the camera and begins hacking Barakapool to pieces. After a while he stands up, clears his throat and faces the camera.

Deadpool: Oh, hello. I'm Deadpool. I used to look like this...

(A picture of Ryan Reynolds in "Hugo Boss" mode appears with a ping.)

Deadpool: Now I look like this...

(He pulls up his mask and his face becomes pixelated. A woman off camera screams. He pulls the mask back down.)

Deadpool: Apparently some a-holes have been trying to convince people that "Knifey" here is me. C'Mon, have you seen me? I'm a 10! This guy's a 6 at best, maybe a 7 if he worked out a bit more.

Thankfully some buddies of mine helped me scrape together $73.46 to tell my story my way.

You can't afford to miss this! It'll feature ACTION!

(Shot of Deadpool jumping of a four foot wall trying to reenact Bruce Willis jumping of the Nakatomi Plaza in Die Hard)

Deadpool: Mystery!

(Shot of Deadpool in his living room trying to solve a Rubik's Cube. He shoots it in frustration.)

Deadpool: Romance...

(Shot of Deadpool embracing a beautiful woman. Woman: I love you, Wade. Deadpool: I know... I'm awesome)

Deadpool: And LOTS of "F" words

(Shot of Deadpool wearing a Beret "Like France!")

Deadpool: Plus, as an added incentive, if 'Deadpool: A tale of a Gorgeous Man' makes more money than Avatar I WON'T kill this dog.

(He holds up a puppy)

Deadpool: I'd like to thank the academy in advance.

(He holds up a title card with 'Deadpool: A Tale of a Gorgeous Man' scribbled on it. He begins singing, to the tune of Batman)

Deadpool: Na na na na na na na na Deadpoooooool
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DDD
DDD - 1/12/2011, 7:28 AM
Dude I shot my sandwich out my nose!
This is frakkin' hilarious!
FRAKKIN' HILARIOUS!
selinakyle
selinakyle - 1/12/2011, 7:36 AM
Lol...this is actually very funny!
MikesPants
MikesPants - 1/12/2011, 7:39 AM
Thanks guys. Glad you enjoyed :)
Exiles
Exiles - 1/12/2011, 8:02 AM
I have to say this was quite a enjoyable read
BigG
BigG - 1/12/2011, 11:37 AM
this is pretty funny lol
nice work, still if u got the chance man check out my X-Men Fan Cast
AC1
AC1 - 1/12/2011, 12:29 PM
this is the first time ive laughed at anything on cbm, and its the funniest thing ive seen in a long time!
I was literally crying with laughter, this is so good!!!
I actually tried to make a 'batman theme' song for deadpool before, kinda gave up after the first line, but i might try again some other time ;D
Hawksblueyes
Hawksblueyes - 1/12/2011, 4:33 PM
Very good job Pants. Funy, funny stuff.
MikesPants
MikesPants - 1/13/2011, 12:09 AM
Thanks again guys. ACira, keep at the theme tune, maybe we can join forces!
DeadpoolDan
DeadpoolDan - 1/13/2011, 2:51 AM
Haha that was awesome its a great idea for the teaser. Thumbs up for you mrpants
MikesPants
MikesPants - 1/13/2011, 5:43 AM
Coming from you DeadpoolDan, that means a lot!
kong
kong - 7/29/2011, 8:52 AM
LMFAO!!!!
Deadgeek
Deadgeek - 8/14/2012, 8:42 AM
Suitably epic! Get this to a Fox executive now!
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