It has been almost an entire year since Edgar Wright announced his departure from Marvel Studio's Ant-Man as its writer and director. Most fans understandably went to social media to voice their concern and confusion, as this bit of news came as a huge shock. Wright had been attached to the project since 2006, well before Marvel Studios had even garnered the attention of the film viewing public. Joe Cornish had been selected to co-write the script. Together, both men had submitted three drafts to the studio and even oversaw preliminary test footage (which would later leak online and receive unanimous praise).
When a joint press release was sent out in May of 2014, detailing that the Hot Fuzz director was to leave the film in the middle of pre-production, rumors began to swirl as to the reason why. The official reason given by both the studio and the director was that there were irreconcilable creative differences, and that the departure was an amicable one. One popular theory was that Edgar Wright wanted to tell a self-contained stand alone story--one that didn't need appearances from popular ancillary characters that served only to promote other franchises. But as Wright took his time to prepare for the filming of Ant-Man, Marvel Studios had established a lucrative multi-franchise cinematic universe that used a business strategy dependent on narrative interconnectivity, thus necessitating a need for a screenplay that welcomed cross-promotion within its story.
The other theory is that Edgar Wright shtupped Kevin Feige's wife.
Last night, Filipino Review's own El Cucaracha (twice removed third cousin of Latino Review's El Mayimbe) shared drinks with the president of Marvel Studios himself, Kevin Feige. In an exclusive off-the-record interview with Feige, El Cucaracha was able to get the real story from the man himself on what actually happened behind the scenes. After five dry Manhattans, Feige spilled the beans saying "I come...uhh...I come home one night, after telling that whiny bitch Amy Pascal that if she thinks she can give me Spider-man back...that, she better...tell that punk Avi Arad that he can go...he can go find a...anyways, I come home. After I turn the lights on, I hear a loud thud. Naturally, I assume Terrance Howard and Edward Norton have broken into my house for vengeance! I grab my pewter hero prop replica of Thor's hammer, run upstairs, and what should I see? That Grizzly Adams lookin' bastard giving my wife a limey Cornetto!"
Feige went on to state that after firing Wright, he went through a lengthy screening process while searching for a replacement. "Ruben Fleischer, Adam McKay, Rawson Marshall Thurber...I left each of them alone with my wife for an entire weekend at my cabin in Aspen. They all failed my test! Adam was nice enough to let me sleep with his wife, so I allowed him to stay on as a writer." When asked if Payton Reed passed his test, Kevin responded with "Oh, by that point I locked up my wife in Paul Rudd's trailer. I know I can trust him. He came out as gay after doing those Harold and Kumar films."
UPDATE: Edgar Wright has now commented on this controversy!
Whoa! This whole affair just keeps getting more interesting by the minute! After this story was first reported by Filipino Review, Edgar Wright has since came out to tell his side of the story. Speaking with a reporter for ChubbyParade.com at a gala for Hemorrhoids Awareness, Wright had this to say. "I feel really terrible about the whole situation. But in my defense, Kevin's wife told me they had an open relationship. I thought she meant they were polyamorous swingers. At the hospital, after the medical staff had sucessfully extracted Mjolnir from my body, she explained that she meant they told each other everything. I hope one day to have a relationship myself with someone I know I wouldn't have to keep secrets from. The closest I ever had to that was with...Simon Pegg...and J.J. Abrams took him away. That hit close to home. It wasn't enough for Abrams to turn Star Trek into Star Wars, and then take Star Wars and turn it into...well, I guess we'll see what he does with it. He might make Star Wars into Star Trek or turn Star Wars back into Star Wars of old, but either way, he took my Simey Peggy Wig Wig from me."
One can only speculate what this means for Wright and Marvel Studios. For while we finally have an answer as to why Payton Reed is now in charge of Ant-Man, many questions have obviously now surfaced because of this incident being brought to light. Does this mean Wright is barred from ever writing and directing for Marvel in the future? Is the reason Whedon isn't directing anymore Avengers films because he slept with Feige's wife? Are the Russo brothers capable of resisting the seductive temptations of Mrs. Feige? Will the Editors of this site delete this piss poor excuse for an April Fools article? Comment in the section below and share your thoughts.
Source: FilipinoReview.com