Spider-Man: Big Time - Part One of Nine

Spider-Man: Big Time - Part One of Nine

I talk bad about 'The Amazing Spider-Man 2', but it's time to put my money where my mouth is and prove that I can write a better Spider-Man movie! So here it is, retribution for the newest Spider-Man flick, SPIDER-MAN: BIG TIME!

By Asterisk - May 11, 2014 05:05 PM EST
Filed Under: Fan Fic
Starting a whole new canon. A whole new Spider-Man!



Black.


Spider-Man (v.o.)

Amazing.


Smash cut: Ext. New York City street - day.


A man on a motorcycle is whizzing fast between the busy traffic of New York. The man has a hostage strapped to his back with duct tape over his mouth. The hostage is a man in his 50s with short cropped hair, the man driving the motorcycle has a helmet obscuring his face. The driver looks back in panic, up to the buildings, looking for something.


Cut back to black.


Spider-Man (v.o.)

Spectacular.


Cut back to the chase scene.


Long stringy webbing hits the side of a building as we pull back and see a swinging flash of red and blue. The motorcycle with the hostage swerves.


Cut back to black.


Spider-Man (v.o.)

Friendly neighborhood.


Cut back to the New York scene.


A crowd of civilians on the sides of the city streets watch up in awe as a woman points up to the sky.


Woman in crowd

It’s SPIDER-MAN!


We get a full reveal of SPIDER-MAN, swinging in full glory in a completely comic book accurate outfit, complete with the web wings.


Spider-Man (v.o.)

Yep, that’s what they call me!


Spider-Man lands on top of a truck and traces the fleeing motorcycle as we get a very ‘Sherlock’-y examination from Spider-Man.


Spider-Man (v.o.)

Okay, let’s see here: hostage, Mayor Greg Herman. Stolen from his home about 30 minutes ago byyyyy THIS GUY--


Close-up on the kidnapper driving the motorcycle.


Spider-Man (v.o.)

---and I have no idea who he is. Not a big name guy, not a goblin or a octopus by my examination, so it seems...he’s just some nut in a motorcycle helmet. Who stole the mayor of New York. Easy enough.


Spider-Man leaps off the truck and starts swinging in between the traffic.


Spider-Man

WATCH OUT, EVERYONE! BIG TIME SUPER HERO COMING THROUGH!


Spider-Man shoots a web-line at the mayor and pulls him off the moving motorcycle. He snatches him up and Spider-Man catches him in mid-air.


Spider-Man

I got ya, Giuliani.


The mayor starts muffling excited thanks to his rescuer as Spider-Man swings him to safety.


Spider-Man

Alright, alright, easy, big guy. I better get a key to the city for this.


Spider-Man drops the mayor off on top of a building. The mayor waves as Spidey swings off.


Spider-Man (v.o.)

Guy needs to invest in some Axe bodyspray or something.


Cut back to the motorcycle racing down the street. The driver still thinks the mayor is on his bike but he looks back and sees the opposite is the case. Spider-Man is behind him, with arms wrapped around the driver.


Spider-Man

Hi.


The motorcycle swerves and falls while Spidey jumps off, what’s left of it (And the helmeted driver) skidding down the street. Spider-Man watches from on top of a street light. The motorcycle stops and lays on top of the driver.


Spider-Man

Burnooooout! Oh, buddy, that looked like it hurt!


The driver pushes the motorcycle off of him, gets up, and brushes himself off.


Spider-Man

“Hey, I’m some guy in a motorcycle helmet, and this is ‘Jackass’!”


The driver pulls out a gun and points it at Spidey.


Spider-Man

No? Not even a titter? Tough sub.


The driver fires the gun at Spider-Man, but he swings off the street light and kicks the driver to his side.


Spider-Man

Hey, Arnie, if that old guy was John Connor, you were doing a HORRIBLE job at protecting him.


The driver sits up and points his gun again at Spider-Man.



Driver

Do you EVER shut up!


Spider-Man

Never been known to, just ask my aunt.


Spider-Man shoots a burst of web that holds the driver’s hand with the gun to the ground.


Driver

Is this seriously happening?


Spider-Man

Certainly appears that way. Why don’t you go ahead and tell me why you kidnapped the mayor, Boba Fett. Things will move a lot faster.


Driver

I’m not telling you anything. The Syndicate will rise and you will be--!!



Spider-Man

Okay, yadda yadda, whatever…


Spider-Man punches the driver in the side of the helmet, cracking the visor. He pulls off the helmet to reveal a kid young enough to be in high school. In the same school as Spidey’s alter ego, Peter Parker, in fact, because Spidey recognizes him.


Spider-Man (v.o.)

You have GOT to be kidding me.


Spider-Man

Herman?!


Herman looks confused.


Herman

How do you know my name?


Spider-Man (v.o.)

This kid is Herman Schultz. He’s like the biggest dork in my class, and this is coming from the king of the dorks. Did I mention that I’m in high school?


Herman

Hey, Spider-Nerd! I said, how do you know my name?


Spider-Man (laughing a bit)

I-I-I’m...I’m the eyes and ears of this city! Nothing goes past me! I’m the alpha and omega! I’m Zeus!


Herman looks unimpressed.


Herman

Do you go to my high school?


Spider-Man

What’s a high school?


Herman

Come to think of it...some kid did get bitten by some freaky spider on a trip to OsCorp last year…




Spider-Man

I didn’t get my powers by getting bitten by a spider! That-that’s stupid! I come from Arachnia, a planet from very far away! It was in imminent danger of blowing up and my father and mother sent me off in a rocket ship to protect the innocent people of Earth!


Herman

You sound like you’re 16.


Spider-Man

They sent me off not 16 years ago, if I remember correctly, so I believe in a way you are right, Earthling.


Herman

The Syndicate has your number, Spider-Man. And when we rise, we’re coming after--


Spider-Man

I’m really sorry (I’m not), but I just don’t care. I have to fight Syndicates, Leagues, evil corporations, whatever, almost every week. You’re saying stuff, but all I can think about is how much I wanna have an A.M. Crunchwrap and it’s 3:15 in the afternoon. Just my Spider-Luck. See ya, Herman!


Spider-Man swings away as police come driving up around Herman.


Spider-Man (v.o.)

That didn’t go nearly as well as it could have.


Cut to: Int. Aunt May’s house - day.


Peter Parker, the teenager better known as Spider-Man, sits at the table in his aunt May’s kitchen, eating Lucky Charms and watching ‘The Price Is Right’ wrapped in a blanket. Aunt May comes in and drops a plate into the sink.


Aunt May

Peter, are you going to do these dishes?


Peter (mouthful of cereal)

Mmf.


Aunt May

And you’re gonna finish that Chemistry project your teacher emailed me about?


Peter (mouthful of cereal)

Mmf.

Peter swallows.


Peter

Aunt May, it’s Saturday. Just let me...not do anything, please?


Aunt May

It’s a project, Peter.


Peter

With information that I’ll NEVER need in everyday life! I can slack off this one.


Aunt May

Don’t you want to be a scientist?


Peter

Not THAT kind of scientist. Besides, I know HOW to do it, I just choose not to. It’s below me.


Aunt May

Alright, well…


Aunt May props up her purse on her shoulder and starts to walk out of the kitchen.


Aunt May

I’ll be back later. Get stuff done, Peter.


Peter

Uh-huh.


Aunt May walks out. Peter runs up to the window, still draped in the blanket, making sure she drives off, and then rips the blanket off, revealing he is fully decked in his SPIDER-MAN outfit.


Peter (v.o.)

At one point I considered not doing the superhero thing on the weekends, but statistically, more crime happens on the weekends. That might not be true. I just made it up. But my point is, crime is always hitting the streets of New York. And it’s my responsibility to take care of it. With great power comes great--


Peter sees a police car mid-chase and rolls his eyes.


Peter (v.o.)

Ah, whatever.


Peter slips on his Spidey mask and web slings out the window of his house.


Cut to: Abandoned Warehouse - night.


We see a old, ugly warehouse, seeming to be on the skirts of New York. Moss is hanging off of it and there seems to be no activity coming from it. One lowly car comes driving up to the warehouse, stopping a few yards from the front. The driver is revealed to be Herman from earlier. He’s looking at the warehouse, nervously.


Herman comes around the very back of the warehouse and finds a small keypad. He puts in a pin number and a huge automated door opens. It is dark in the room Herman walks into, but then he advances into the next room, which is a huge dance floor with big, flashing neon lights and loud music. Lavishly dressed people are EVERYWHERE, dancing, buying drinks, getting into fights, the usual stuff for a club. We are in the most exclusive club for the supervillain community, the SINISTER SPOT.


You see quite a few of Spider-Man’s foes in the club as Herman walks through it, like the Rhino, Kraven the Hunter, the Jackal, even possibly Doctor Octopus. Herman walks up a revolving staircase all the way up to a private room at the end of the club. He puts in another pin and walks into the room: which is a simple room, with nothing but a long table, some chairs, and a window overlooking the club. The more interesting part, however, is who sits in those chairs. Around the table sits: Boomerang, a guy with an endless arsenal of tech-modified boomerangs, The Beetle, a megalomaniac in a robotic suit with retractable wings, Black Cat, an attractive female cat burglar,  Morbius the Living Vampire, a man who got vampiric abilities through the wonders of science and now looks like something out of a Bram Stoker novel,  and Mysterio, another teched out guy who looks like he has a fish bowl for a head and is constantly surrounded by smoke. These super-criminals, along with Herman, make up THE SINISTER SYNDICATE.


Facing out the window, however, is the Syndicate’s leader. He’s tucked away in shadow, but we can make out he is draped in a cape and hood, and he’s very scary.


Herman

Hey. guys.


Mysterio

Where were you, child? We have been waiting all day.


Herman

You didn’t see the news? The Spider-Man got in the way.


Boomerang

You didn’t just kill him or something?


Herman

He’s faster than you can possibly imagine.



The Beetle

Not too fast for me. Put me up against the Spider-Man and I will eradicate him faster than you would go through a drive-thru window, Schultz.


Black Cat

I’d like to sick my claws into him.


Boomerang

Cat puns, how original.


Morbius

How delicious the taste of spider blood must be.


Syndicate Leader

SILENCE!


All of the Syndicate focus their attention on the leader.


Syndicate Leader

Your initiation into the Sinister Syndicate was to kidnap the mayor and bring him here to our club, but you let Spider-Man get in the way. You have failed me.


Herman

I almost had him, boss, I swear. Spider-Man came out of nowhere.


Syndicate Leader

As he always does, but we must be prepared.


Mysterio

I believe our best course of action would be to get rid of the Spider.


Boomerang

It probably isn’t as easy as it sounds, Mysterio. This guy took down some of the greats. The Green Goblin, the Kingpin, The Chameleon…


Mysterio

We are better than those fools, Boomerang.


Morbius

They did not have the drive, the thirst that we do.




Boomerang

Then where would we begin? How do we even track the guy down? You think a guy in a bright red and blue outfit would be easier to kill…


Herman

...I think I may know who he is.


The Syndicate Leader turns his hooded head in interest.


Syndicate Leader

What was that?


Herman

He knew who I was. He recognized me, and he sounded like he’s around my age. I think he’s in my class.


The Beetle

He’s a high schooler?


Mysterio

He’s only a child.


The Beetle

He’s a threat.


Morbius

Youthfulness is not innocence, Mysterio.


Boomerang

I’d kill him if he was seven.


Syndicate Leader

Perhaps you are not as useless as I had thought, Herman. You can and will lead us to Spider-Man?


Herman

I want him just as bad as any of you do.



Syndicate Leader

Indeed. Spider-Man has foiled our plans for the last time. Black Cat, show Mr. Schultz his gift.


Black Cat touches a button on the long table the Syndicate is sitting at. The table opens up and reveals the Syndicate’s gift to Herman: A gold-plated suit with a mask, very villainous, and a pair of gauntlets, crackling with electric energy.


Syndicate Leader

This is what you requested, correct?


Herman puts on one of the gauntlets and fires it up.


Herman

It...it’s perfect.


The Beetle

I built it myself.


Syndicate Leader

It’s our token to our newest member.


The Syndicate Leader steps into the light, and we get a full reveal: his face demonic and his teeth sharp, his tattered cape draped around his around chest and shoulders, sword at his side. This is one horrifying bad guy. His name is the Hobgoblin.


Hobgoblin

Welcome to the Sinister Syndicate, SHOCKER.

 
---

ANY feedback is appreciated. Part Two comes next week!
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kong
kong - 5/11/2014, 6:28 PM
I like it a lot! Great writing. Great story. Great dialogue as well. I kinda got turned off at the Syndicate part, but I'll be coming back for part 2. Nice job!
TheHero
TheHero - 5/11/2014, 6:47 PM
Pretty good. Like the dialogue. Ehhh....on the syndicate part. But overall, good job.
webbedmenace317
webbedmenace317 - 5/11/2014, 6:57 PM
So...to make it better than The Amazing Spider-man 2 you're going to start your NINE part film with a plethora of villains with no lead-in to them whatsoever, probably no character development for anyone except this Herman kid, who goes to Peter's school, which is just a rip-off of the Rhino episode of the Ultimate Spider-man TV show? How does Herman get away from the police? He tried to kidnap the Mayor, and you imply very heavily that he gets arrested. Your Spidey dialogue is ok, but the insane amount of pop-culture references in a row would get so old. The first two were funny, and by the time i got to Boba Fett it was like "wtf.....?". This is why I give no credence to anyone bashing the Amazing Spider-man 2 saying they could do a better job. This isn't even a correctly formatted screenplay or script. Die-hard readers of the comics will RECOGNIZE characters that you're putting in, but the average movie-goer is going to get 20 minutes into this and be completely lost, destroying this for having far too many characters introduced right off the bat, with no character introduction whatsoever. Don't say you can do it better. You can't.
Asterisk
Asterisk - 5/11/2014, 7:15 PM
Thanks for the feedback, guys!

webbedmenace

I've never seen an episode of Ultimate Spider-Man. Because I don't care.

Everybody else I've run it by seems to be okay with the pop culture references. Maybe you're right, but I don't see anything wrong with it.

It's not a correctly formatted screenplay because this is a first draft and this is how I do it. There's not REALLY a written set of rules on how to do a screenplay, especially one I know will never be produced. What matters is the content, and everyone seems to be enjoying that.

I don't see how introducing the villains like this is any different from having, say, the Brotherhood in the X-Men movies. I'm not trying to balance all of these villains as equals. The main villain is the Hobgoblin, just like how the villain of the X-Men flicks is Magneto.

webbedmenace317
webbedmenace317 - 5/11/2014, 8:32 PM
So you're going to say that you can do a better job than the guys who wrote the screenplay for ASM2, but you're not going to finish the whole thing, edit and refine it, have a bunch of people look it over, and then post it? You're going to write the first part of your first draft, and say it's better than the new movie? There actually is a written set of rules on how to do a screenplay, I know because I work with writers, directors, and photographers who actually make films and have taken screenwriting classes. Not to mention they do it for a living. The critics and general audience have gotten far more critical of superhero movies since X-men came out(btw, the only movie in the series where magneto is the main villain). Doesn't change the fact that people's main issue with ASM2 is too many characters, especailly big name characters with tiny parts, and now you're throwing everyone at them in the first act, without saying anything about them, who they are or doing anything except showing them in their comic-book costumes and assuming everyone knows them. This isn't x-men where you can just have a ton of Villains and call it good. In X-men you have a bunch of heroes fighting a bunch of villains, and you can afford to one-off some people. Spider-man is incredibly famous for his rogues gallery, and you have to do them justice.

And your massive Mayor-kidnapping plot-hole? What's up with that?
Abary
Abary - 5/12/2014, 4:51 AM
Yeah, sorry, but I have to agree with WebbedMenace here. There's some people on this site who know what they are doing, like Nova or Doom, and there are others who post stuff that are written terribly. The dialogue is bad, really bad. It's not even funny and it seems cheesier than the movie. Spidey's style of comedy is supposed to fit the scene, and it just, I don't know, works. All these references are tiresome. Characters need explaining too, you can't just give us a character, set a name for him, and go on with the story. Because eventually you'll get to the problem of forgetting about these characters for half the "movie" and that's something people don't like.
webbedmenace317
webbedmenace317 - 5/12/2014, 8:39 AM
I'm not going to be a complete a-hole though about this. You have some good concepts here, they're just executed poorly. You should write your whole story out with no dialogue, and then get an actual writer to make a screenplay. You can then edit that and once it's a polished, edited, and no longer really flawed, then post it on here.
Zeponi
Zeponi - 5/12/2014, 4:28 PM
I don't like this.

I mean, it's good, but I don't like it.
Asterisk
Asterisk - 5/12/2014, 7:10 PM
SpiderMiles

Haha, why not?
Zeponi
Zeponi - 5/13/2014, 10:34 AM
Well, it has got some great ideas in it, and the writing's pretty solid, but I really do not like the idea of Herman Shultz being Spidey's classmate, and Pete's attitude to Aunt May.

Other than that, it's solid. :)
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