The DVD Autopsy -- THE BLACKOUT

The DVD Autopsy -- THE BLACKOUT

Making your own version of THE HANGOVER!? Sure, stealing that premise might be a shortcut to video success but understand, when you match that series beat-for-beat you are just begging to be compared. Especially when the film is incompetently written, directed, and poorly acted, that comparison will leave you worse than hung over.

Feature Opinion
By MartiniShark - Oct 01, 2013 12:10 PM EST
Filed Under: Other



Here is a film rooted in a wholly original concept... A group of friends awakens with no recollection of events following a night of raucous celebration, then “comedy ensues” as they try to piece together what transpired! Now, I will allow that this concept bears a resemblance to the plot line of a film series with which some may have familiarity; but really now, how many people will make that obscure connection? Savor the originality!

Tellingly, this title bears all the markings of a “hey, why not!?” production. Friends who collaborated prior on a short film -- director, writer, and actor -- reconvene and decide hey, why not recreate the comedy magic of a billion dollar franchise? I mean hey, why not try to come up with new ideas somehow not covered previously over the course of three blockbuster films; why not do so with a crowd possessing far less skill and no proven track record? Let’s get this lifeless release onto the slab and answer that “why not” question directly.




00:02:38 Diluted Tableau
The credit sequence involves a blue-haired mook on the floor, and the camera follows a pair of fashionable stilettos creeping along the littered rooms. So not only is this film’s concept stolen from The Hangover, they even copped the opening scene from that film.

00:03:29 Elevated Foreshadow Levels
The heels belong to Jenny, girlfriend to the blue-haired guy, Eddie. They have a fight about the supposed girl in his bed. I think she should leave him based on the simple fact that between them he is the one wearing more eye makeup.

00:06:05 Ruptured Visual
Eddie encounters an unconscious figure hanging by his arms from a tree. This is Eddie’s friend Toss (a Galifinakis doppelganger), who promptly revives and vomits all over Eddie. I’m actually uplifted by this degradation.




00:09:36 Septic Introduction
A flashback teaches this enterprise is centered on a rock band. Eddie, the guitarist is joined at a dinner by Toss, the drummer, Gunther the bass player, and Chas who is the (very) British lead vocalist. Along with their girlfriends, they comprise a contentious group of distasteful misogynist personalities. Not ten minutes into this affair and already we are taught to hate ALL of the principals involved.

00:14:16 Exploratory Story Incision
After following all the beats of the better film, and giving us a cast of deplorable people, the film tries to finally distinguish itself -- amid a discussion of locating the contract that was signed the night before they find a body floating in the pool.

00:15:13 Blunt Force Dialogue
After grabbing Eddie’s phone, Toss injects his logic:
“We’re not going to jail - we’re going on tour!”

00:16:25 Cliche' Malignancy
It becomes evident to most that the dead body in the pool is that of Reuben, the record executive who signed the band to a touring contract. At this realization the doorbell rings, and the movie gives us one of its few black characters. It is the next door neighbor, Chuck, who is so cartoonishly gay as to be offensive to at least four different demographics.

00:19:58 Plot Stimulant
Eddie has been constantly upset at the antics of his bandmates from the night before. This makes it a slight contradiction when he declares that in order to remember everything they need to blackout a second time.

00:23:42 Arrested Physics
Earlier it was commented that there was no booze remaining, yet every room is choked with bottles on every available surface. Based on the amount of people depicted we surmise every party-goer arrived with five cases of liquor and had to have a minimum blood alcohol level of .097%.




00:30:32 Invasive Pathos
During long and unproductive flashback scenes we get tepid drama as Eddie’s girlfriend grapples with either joining him on tour or furthering her own career. This tension is capped off by her throwing up all over him.

00:32:02 Comedic Arrest
Now the production goes with their version of jarring animal discovery. In Eddie’s room they learn that the woman they thought woke up beside him in bed was actually a dead deer.




00:38:22 Depleted Character Concentration
Eddie exits his shower while Chas is in his bed with his busty drug dealer. He loses a bit of street-cred while using a shower cap in protecting his Smurf coiffure.

00:42:52 Iatrogenic Direction
Even as we are told a new blackout is needed to cobble together their story every time a member slugs hooch, smokes weed, drops a tab, snorts a line, or engages in any other mind altering activity they have an instantaneous flashback before any chemical would be able to enter the bloodstream.

00:56:41 Blunt Force Dialogue
Spencer, a douchey suit from the record label (played by director Matt Hish), wants to steal Jenny away from Eddie. He also hates the band and wants them fired, which totally explains why he spent all night at the party. He also returns the next morning, hoping to steal their signed contract and have them removed from the label, during which we get to enjoy this rippling exchange:

SPENCER: What are you doing for lunch?
GUNTHER: I drink lunch for breakfast.

01:03:45 Fiscal Laceration
In an avoidance of lawsuits there is a significant use of duct tape in the film. During a lengthy and entirely pointless flashback no fewer than 3 band members end up in super hero costumes, with cheap video manipulation employed to mimic comic book visuals. The Superman, Batman, and Robin logos are all covered by adhesives, and later the packaging on a case of Bud Ice Light is likewise taped over.

01:11:19 Locale Anesthesia
The police arrive and we have drawn out scenes of a weak interrogation, to go along with continued flashbacks which reveal absolutely nothing. Unlike The Hangover which told this kind of tale with the exploration of exciting locations to piece together a plot, this entire enterprise has taken place inside of solitary a home, which by all appearance may have, or should have, been condemned.

01:13:38 Cliche' Malignancy
The second black character is shown -- a pimp with notably gaudy fashions, and a blinged necklace of a Mercedes Benz hood ornament.

01:15:58 Chronicle Seizure
The girls depicted on the cover art finally make their appearance -- in a mostly dialogue-free 15 second stripping hookers cameo. Considering the repugnant nature of the leads this was a smart marketing decision.

01:19:35 Comedic Arrest
After the numerous vomiting scenes we’ve had to endure there's a refreshing twist; rather than being vomited upon, Eddie simply throws up himself.

01:21:31 Commercial Incision
To go with all the other sociopath messages the film also has to resort to homophobia when Chas is revealed to enjoy male companionship.

EDDIE: And apparently you enjoy being pumped more than a pair of Reeboks?”
CHAS: No, apparently Jaegermeister is German for, ‘I Like to Kiss Boys.’

(There may be lawsuits after all coming from these corporations being sullied in this fashion.




01:22:49 Cranial Atrophy
When the sought after briefcase with the contract is located the douche from the record label nabs it, confirming with police he can keep it as company property. The cop tells him as long as it doesn’t pertain to the dead body he is correct. This, despite the fact that the briefcase actually belonged to the deceased -- but now why would police need to investigate petty details?

01:26:42 Cauterized Plot Cavity
Reuben, the believed to be dead record executive, strolls in and scuttles the plans of Spencer, calling the band his favorite clients. Reuben declares to the cops that since the dead body is not his own the only thing the guys are guilty of is “Throwing the greatest party ever!

Of course the very first thing the police do is remove their handcuffs at this announcement.

01:28:51 Collapsed Climax
The dead body is discovered to be the lover of Chuck, so I guess that means because he was gay he is disposable, and therefore nobody is culpable.
The band members reconcile, they patch all the problems they have with their girlfriends, and this music act which just signed a contract 12 hours ago is now scheduled to headline a 50,000 seat concert arena. You know, just like in real life

In other words, this group of sociopathic cretins are not locked away for the betterment of humanity but instead become fully rewarded for all of their debauchery and poisonous attitudes. This is presented as a happy ending.


POST MORTEM
In trying to replicate the success of The Hangover this production went 180 degrees in the other direction. While stealing the concept, opening, animal surprises, character replication, and authority-snubbing what they got wrong were some basic tenants of story telling. In that film you had a likeable group who got in over their head through indirect means and, as an audience, we encouraged them as they worked hard to get things back to normalcy.

Here you have a hateful group of self-destructive, insufferable ass-holes with no redeeming qualities who purposefully seek out trouble with bile-filled attitudes, but their problematic condition finds them rewarded more handsomely than anyone else with a shadow of respectability might expect. Why would anyone want to see riches and fame heaped on a group that you would naturally want to kick in the teeth and toss into a dumpster fire?

This DOA disc release proves nobody wanted to see that.

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