Transformers: Dark of the Moon - No Surprises!

Transformers: Dark of the Moon - No Surprises!

No spoilers, just opinions!

Review Opinion
By cartersabroad - Jun 29, 2011 10:06 PM EST
Filed Under: Transformers
Source: Comic Book Movie Review

We grade on three categories:
1. Faithfulness to comic characterization
2. Comic Action Quotient/Storyline
3. Acting
Reviews are graded on an academic scale of:
A, B, C, D, or F


Before reviewing this film, you must know I never watched the Transformers when they were a cartoon. I read a couple of the comics, but even then was not enthusiastic about a live action adaptation. Added to that is Michael Bay’s own unique vision of the Transformers. Here we go!

Category 1: This film is faithful to the source works in that the Autobots and Decepticons have opted to continue their war here on Earth. There are new characters all around for this one including a new love interest for Sam Witwicky, Carly Spencer (loosely based on one of the 1984 animated characters which was a nice twist). The storyline is the same it’s always been: Autobots protect humanity, Decepticons want to conquer us. The biggest difference is, in my opinion, a good one. In the cartoons, nobody ever got hurt. These guys are at war with mankind in the middle so some eggs have to get broken.

Category 1 Grade – A

Category 2: This part is on Action Quotient and storyline, but in Michael Bay films, these have to be addressed separately so we’ll call Action Quotient, Category 2.1 and the storyline, 2.2.

2.1: The action was epic in proportions. Chicago would never be the same again! As in all Bay films, there are myriad explosions, collapsing structures, and everybody seems to have huge guns. There are the expected close calls and the viewer is subjected/invited to over two hours of non-stop mayhem. If chaos and destruction is your form of escapism, you will be in heaven. Now for the storyline.

2.2: There was some great use of established American history to augment the Transformer mythology. One basic flaw for suspension of belief continues in this film from the previous two: The audience cannot believe the Sam Witwicky can consistently date the women he does in these movies! No offense to Shia, but he has a Joe Public look and carries off his character, but really? Mikaela and Carly? Sorry, but we can’t buy it! Added to that is the way she “just appeared” in the mythos. The rest of the film hummed right along to the formula and the viewer got exactly what they were promised and expected.

Category 2.1 Grade – A+

Category 2.2 Grade – B-

Category 3: The majority of the cast from the other two movies reprise their roles with some additions. Shia LeBeouf continues to be the Everyman we want to win just because he has such boldness and persistence. Having watched the first film recently, Shia has not changed much and continues to deliver his lines with machine gun timing. John Tuturro, Josh Duhamel, and Tyrese Gibson return to continue the good fight as Seymour Simmons (retired spook), LT. Colonel William Lennox (Nest Commander), and Robert Epps (retired USAF chief) respectively. One surprise breakout performance was that of Alan Tudyk who plays Simmons assistant equipped with an arsenal of handy skills. Tudyk attacked the role of Dutch with fervor. Unfortunately, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley handled the character of Carly Spencer with unbelievable stiffness. Though easy on the eyes, she is not action movie material at this point in her career. Another example of inspired casting was pretty boy, Patrick Dempsey as Dylan Gould, who does and excellent job as fly in the ointment. It was a dark role, but he excelled in it.

Category 3 Grade – B

Overall Grade – B+

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thalidomide
thalidomide - 6/30/2011, 11:08 AM
i'll post something here just for the sake of posting
cgrass5150
cgrass5150 - 7/1/2011, 10:20 PM
Ample doses of "Depakote" required. If you've ever wondered what having a seizure is like, "Transformers: DOTM," is your ticket to ride.

"DOTM" is a non-stop orgy of pointless, mind-numbing robot destruction and violence highlighted by an endless parade of mechanical innards whizzing across the screen at 200 MPH.

As for the rest of the movie, the plot is a convoluted mess and the human characters are a joke. Not only is their acting bad but the dialogue appears to have been scripted by a 9 year-old. Also, over the course of 2 hours horn-dog Michael Bay reduces women to nothing more than mindless, annoying hump magnets. Look no further than the frequent up close ass and crotch shots of pneumatic Rosie Huntington-Whiteley and the "Vivid" contract girl lookalikes in the background.

Sadly, even the Transformers are lame. Unlike the cartoon and comic books of the 80's, none of the key Transformers are developed enough in the story to the point where you care what's happening to them.

In summary, Michael Bay and the overrated Steven Spielberg succeed magnificently in further destroying a cool sci-fi premise that always had the potential to be awesome in the hands of a more competent, visionary director and producer.

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