Send us YOUR Transformers ROTF Reviews!

I will ; )

But i tell you one thing im not happy....

GENERAL HAWK (GI JOE) was supposed to have a cameo in this dammit!

Not good.

Great minds!!! ; )

Heh heh.

It would've been sweet! (Maybe its for the Blue-ray)

Yep! HASBRO/PARAMOUNT tut tut!

So they make it better an put the ROBO JAR JAR TWINS in lol! : D

Damn.

AVOIDING YOU! I'M NOT READING THIS! NOT GONNA SPOIL THIS MOVIE FOR ME, CAUSE I'M WATCHING IT TOMORROW! SEE! I'M TYPING WITH MY EYES SHUT!

I'M USING THE FORCE TO GUIDE MY PERFECT TYPING GRAMMAR! :D

CRAP! LEFT THE CAPS LOCK ON! :P

CaptainAmerica @ I ain't seen it yet, but you got a good point! It could be right at the very end of the credits! ?? ; )

WhiteAndBlueBoy @ You ain't a true fan if you sh!t on a HAWK cameo, its just a lil easter egg for people man! Why not? After all their suppose to be in the same Friggin' HASBRO Universe! ; )

SIDERMAN209 @ LOL, THERES NO NEWS HERE ITS OKAY, YOU CAN OPEN YA EYES! ; )

hello...been reading this site forever and just signed on...

Transformers was awesome.

People are panning it because it stereo types minorities with the twins, which whilst they sometimes missed the funny bone they did enough to justify themselves being in the movie. And no-one seemed to notice or care that jet fire was an irratable rude Englishman!

Michael Bay gets a lot of flack for shooting his films for dramatic impact rather than realism( every shot of every film seems to be at dawn or dusk) but I think it looks wicked and seems to bathe the picture with a really dramatic colour scheme and makes it a real spectacle.

As for the critics saying that the Transformers take too much of a central role in comparison to the human character development should maybe read the title.

They will always find something to piss and moan about though and for my simple tastes it was everything I wanted it to be after loving the first one and def worth seeing in IMAX.

apologies for my typing abilities!

This is a film as epic in scope as it is in its failure. As much as I loved the first film, even I (in my review - HERE) admitted a number of its glaring flaws. Fortunately, everything that was right about the movie overshadowed the robot pissing, the goofy as [frick] Turturro and the sneaking giant robots. When it worked, it REALLY worked. The storyline introducing us to the Transformers through the eyes of humans slowly over the course of the film was fine for a first film. It was okay because we, as an audience, needed to buy these things as characters over time. And ultimately we did. But everything that was simply wrong or just underdeveloped was excused because, well, we wanted to see what fifty foot robots beating the shit out of each other looked like…and that’s exactly what Michael Bay gave us: fifty foot robots beating the shit out of each other.

But now we’ve seen that. We’ve watched fifty foot robots beating the shit out of one another and now we’re ready for what’s next. Unfortunately, what’s next is more of everything that was wrong the first time. Here Bay magnifies EVERYTHING bad about the first. You thought robot pissing was weak? Check out robot farting, robot crying and giant, clanging robo-testicles. Oh yeah. Michael Bay wanted his big cast iron balls in the film and there they are, dangling off of Devastator in one of the film’s defining dramatic moments. I guess he couldn’t get away with a giant, limp swinging cyber-phallus, so he went with the next best thing.

But if that weren’t enough, he had to add even more comic relief than the first time around. Remember Turturro? Yeah. Well apparently he had it in his contract that there needed to be a character even more obnoxious than him to say all the REALLY shitty lines. It’s Turturro squared.

Then there’s the Joepecicon – a terrible GOODFELLAS joke gone awry in the form of a small Decepticon who cracks wise…incessantly. And worst of all, the frightening sidekicks of the film and the mistake this film will most likely be forever known for: Mudflap and Skids, the Stepin Fetchbots of the film. It’s as if Michael Bay looked at Jar Jar Binks and said “Oh, [frick] no. Really? People find THAT offensive? [frick] that, I’ll show them a [frick]ing stereotype they’ll never [frick]ing forget!” And he does.

Oh. My. God.

They speak in clichéd urban slang, tossing around phrases like “I’m gonna pop a cap in your ass” while fist bumping and mumbling unintelligently in a voice that sounds like a bad Chappelle Show sketch. Then you get a close up. And they each have bug eyes and a gold tooth. Then there’s this jackass comment about them not being able to read. My jaw was on the floor. I mean, if you’re gonna toss out a bad stereotype, at least have the courtesy to make that stereotype a complete badass so as to deflect complaints that this is a deliberately negative portrayal. These mother [frick]ers are incompetent, bumbling and never, EVER, cool.

And all this leads to the worst sin of the film. It’s called TRANSFORMERS. And yet, 90% of the film is spent entirely with the above collection of tools and occasionally Bumblebee who has mysteriously lost his voice again. Sure, the film OPENS with Optimus Prime and all the badasses from the previous film. But they’re barely in this film at all. It’s more about Shia and Megan running around, collecting incompetent sidekicks while half-assing their way through an Indiana Jones plot. Ironhide? Ratchet? They’re all back at the base. They could only spare a pair of sambot jackasses for THE MOST IMPORTANT MISSION, LIKE, EVER!

Which leads to the next issue – the plot. There isn’t one. As one reviewer pointed out, this film is roughly a few minutes longer than 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY - and yet it can’t scrape together enough of a story to be, you know, somewhat comprehensible. I mean there are a few story elements here that get strung together into something resembling a MOVIE, but there’s zero through line that anyone can explain.

Shia gets zapped by an energy that turns him into an unwitting memory storage device and he becomes the kid from FLIGHT OF THE NAVAGATOR, so the Decepticons want him because of a piece of info he has on a lost artifact, so he has to find the artifact first. Throw in a revenge subplot that makes zero sense (They sacrificed their lives to betray me! But I’m okay and they’re dead, so now I’m super pissed…wait) and a race against time because only a Prime can defeat The Fallen (um, why exactly?) and you get something that you can follow, but never, ever care about. And before you try to point out “isn’t that every Michael Bay movie,” let me say: no, it isn’t. He’s never been this completely incomprehensible. It’s like the script was written in one sitting on a Morphine bender, with the writer nodding in and out of consciousness, thinking that he’d already written what happened in his dreams and simply picking back up where the dream left off.

But the action…the action has to be pretty awesome, right? Um. No, actually. This time around it is even harder to discern than before. Bay puts all the focus on the humans whenever possible, with the giant robots doing all their fighting in the background. Most of the time the fighting is so fast and furious that it is a series of digital blurs – the audience left unable to discern which is the Autobot and which is the Decepticon. The audience broke into applause no less than 5 times during the film, but this only further punctuated the problems as it was always during a slo-mo scene of violence. You see, when you can actually tell what is going on, the fighting is AWESOME. There are some truly spectacular moments of robot on robot assbeating - all of them in slow motion. But the rest of the time you won’t know and probably won’t care what’s going on.

This film is a total and complete waste; a soggy, half baked dessert of a film that you can’t even say “Well, at least the action was cool.” It is an embarrassment, a pathetic misuse of hundreds of millions of dollars that only serves as the new model for excess run amok. Hopefully ten years from now I can put this in and laugh about it the way I laugh about BATMAN AND ROBIN, giggling furiously at the idea that they spent that much money of robot balls and a cybernetic minstrel show. But right now I’m too disappointed, too bitter and just too appalled to find any of this funny. You know, now that I think about it, maybe Bay got his giant, limp, swinging cyber-phallus after all. It’s called TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN.

Hi Rorsach, I started to read that but then my brain started to melt!

Im always wary of reviewers like that guy you put in,I think that rather than sound passionate they try to ram down everyone elses throat their interpretation of the movie.

Talking about stuff with emotive and evocative language doesnt make you right imo, and the fact that you thought I had it backwards shows that its swings and roundabouts about firstly what people want from the movie and secondly how they interpret and appreciate the end product. And whilst the studios may not be gunning for quality over cash, they do have a tricky job of trying to balance alot of issues.

As a side point I wonder if they have meetings to discuss whether or not to cater the film towards the comic book fans,because even though its us who are most interested, which indirectly effects the 3 they take inb through the reviews and web hype which we provide...or just think "[frick] em lets just make it appealing to everyone" which means shite films.

I also cant deny that because I loved the movie over all I am probably being a bit forgiving for the failings.

I liked the way optimus was harder in this, it always bugged me that megatron battered him in the first movie without optimus getting a punch in.

teabag funny pic!

balls...I already look like the biggest nerdy virgin


going on a time out

lol, cmon man i missed ONE line! And i remembered it , i just thought it was said by one of the other nameless Autobots standing around. Ratchet didnt have no lines, he had one. Does that make my point any less valid? Trust me, i payed TOO MUCH attention if anything. By the time Sam went to Autobot heaven i thought i must have had an an aneurysm, but it turns out the plot really was that ridiculous!

True, i didnt look for a great plot, but could they have at least provided coherrent(spl?) I maight sound harsh SHHH but what im saying is true. If this movie had of toned down the cheese, halfed the failed comic relief attempts, focused more on the Transformers themselves, completely removed Car Car Binks! I would have enjoyed it more, you would have enjoyed it more, even Bay fanatics that sit in tears at the end of Armageddon would have enjoyed it more. So i can only see it as a disappointment.

hahah, yeah [frick] me for having an opinion! Something tells me your not the debating type saymekian so ill just call you a tool and move on.

teabag that is always a bonus. Im not sure it would be any less accessible without most of those silly bits but wel agree to differ. Ill tell you a movie that got it just right. Serenity. That had a few borderline cheesy moments and some comic relief as well as great action and drama. But it new when to go comedic and when to get serious.

Thanks Shibazz, but the above review wasnt mine! just one i came across that i agreed with..mines in the review section!

Well, Wolverine did suffer from some script and plot problems, but the performances were at least good..i thought so anyway. And it didnt insult my intelligence with stupid attempts at humor..there was only that one bit when hes in the toilet! It was also far more enjoyable for me overall. But Transformers isnt all bad, its worth seeing for the BIG [frick]ING ROBOTS!

As for the Car Car twins, well they are an abomination in every way. Baty must be laughing his ass off at everyone who views them as "harmless fun". Horrendous stereotyping aside, they just aint funny!

@Rorschach01

is it worth seeing?? seriously if it is that bad i'll
save my money.

while i agree wit ror, i am one of the weak who's willing to look past the flaws. i was disappointed wit the little scenes wit bots from the 1st movie. and the too much comedy they tried to add. and God, was sam's mom annoying, but not as annoying as the guy sitting behind me having bot-gasms every 10 mins

I totally agree with ror!

You are right ROR, I am a tool. I have read every post on this forum and after listening to everyone's comments, you still haven't changed yours one iota.

The question you need to ask yourself after you see a movie is, "Was I entertained?"

And for two and a half hours, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen does nothing but.

So instead of listening to the internet critic god, Rorschach, go out and see the movie and form your OWN opinion.

Flamin' galloon?

Opinions can be changed. It is beliefs that need to stand firm.

Juvenile crap? Yeah, the brothers were not really necessary, but they did make me laugh once. What else was juvenile about the movie? The non-stop robot-on-robot action? The constant sexual inuendo? It is based on action figures and an old CARTOON, man!

Maybe they can get the Coen brothers to direct the next one for you.

ROR i see your still bleeding maybe you need a giant tampon to plug your oozing hole. BLEEDING IDIOT (catch the pun) lmfao at you

ITS ALREADY ANNOUNCED THAT TRANSFORMERS 3 WILL BE OUT ON JULY 1, 2009. I went online and found out but Micheal Bay and Megan Fox havent signed on yet. I am really huge on knowing about movies that come out in the next 2-3 years.