If you're like me, you love the X-Men. If you're even more like me, you only hope for the best when it comes to all things X-Men. If you're uncannily similar to me in ways that are kind of creepy, you've tried being optimistic about "X-Men: First Class." Yet the recent divulging of details is just too much wrong to overlook.
Before you read on, let me make an assumptions -- "Superman Returns" was not the movie you hoped it would be. It let you down in so many ways it makes your deadbeat dad look downright nurturing. Agreed? If so, it should make it easier to stomach this next part.
Bryan Singer is no longer good for the X-Men franchise. That isn't a question, it's a fact. To reach this conclusion, you don't have to look any further than his recent super heroic exploits with the S-man.
S-man meaning Spacey Man. When Bryan set out to make "Superman Returns," he had a very clear idea of the direction he wanted to go -- he was going to ignore the horrendous Superman III and VI, and use Superman II (or more accurately, the Richard Donner version) as a jumping off point. In doing so, to not only improve Superman's celluloid record, but rewrite it all together. For those of you not in the know, this is what's called a retcon (or retroactive continuity). Going back and changing history. Theoretically, this was a fantastic idea. Erasing the memory of bad sequels with a shiny new storyline that has all the benefits of 20/20 hindsight and the blessing of the original director? It's too good to be true!
And yet.... it wasn't.
"Superman Returns" was bland. It was boring. It was unimaginative. Early log lines promised distant worlds across the solar system, but Supes never left the outer atmosphere. Bryan had a chance to set the franchise on fire, but instead he burned it to the ground.
And Marlon Brando's resurrected, disembodied head with it. Four years later, Bryan makes a triumphant return to the X-Men franchise. With an article in the L.A. Times detailing how he's not only going to direct "X-Men: First Class" (a long rumored and shelved project), but he intends to do X-Men 4 and Wolverine 2 as well, should he be allowed. Fanboys everywhere rejoice at the prospect of the man who crafted the mutants' original cinematic exploits triumphantly resurrecting the franchise and returning it to its former glory. But like a nation that forgets its history, we're finding ourselves doomed.
Prodigal Bryan's return started with a script from Jamie Moss. No one can say exactly how many permutations its gone through since its inception, but we can say for sure (according to breaking news) that he seems satisfied with it. And from just a few, seemingly insignificant details, we can already tell exactly where it's headed. It's not a prequel. It's not a (*shudder*) reboot.
It's a retcon.
Professor X will not be confined to a wheelchair, but we will find out how. Neither Scott Summers nor Jean Grey will be in the film. The combination of these two facts alone is in direct contradiction with scenes from 'X3' and 'Wolverine,' in which dear Charles first met Jean and Scott on the strength of his own two feet. Retcon.
Emma Frost will be portrayed by January Jones (near-perfect casting, in my opinion), despite her apparent role as Kayla Silverfox's much, much younger sister in Wolverine. How can a girl first meeting Professor Xavier during a prison break be a woman with a role in his past? Retcon.
And finally, the story will take place in the 1960's with Charles and Erik in their early 20's, if for no other reason than to allow their story to play out against the backdrop of the MLK-Malcom X dichotomy (subtle enough for you?). How can the young mutants be teenagers in the 1960's without being ancient in the present day of the X-trilogy? I don't think I have to say it.
If this all seems familiar, it's because it is. Bryan Singer wants to bring the X-Men back, but he wants to do it his way: blatantly disregarding any kind of history X3 and Wolverine established. Do we all wish we could just forget those two movies ever happened? Of course we do. But we can't, because they did, and it isn't Bryan's place to force it on us. And if I can refer to "Superman Returns" one more time, doing so can make an even bigger mess of things. Selective memory is a bad thing in real life, that applies to movies, too. It's baffling to new and old audience members alike. What are we supposed to remember? What are we supposed to forget?
I'll be honest, I abhor the recent trend of reboots. If the original isn't being improved upon using vastly superior technology as a story-telling aid, a reboot is just a disgusting money-grab on the studio's part. The Spider-Man reboot is Sony doing their best to keep milking that cash cow. They're not going to tell a better story, they're going to tell a slightly different one in an attempt to keep the franchise viable sans Sam Raimi and co. And while there's no mistaking that 'First Class' is a financial venture first and foremost, there was hope it would be a reboot for a reason.
Pictured: One of many reasons The first X-Men film was released in 2000. Two years before Spider-Man and a full five years before Christopher Nolan's Batman reboot. The path for superhero franchises that could be taken seriously was largely unpaved, and X-Men was forged with a tentative hand, making a lot of concessions due to necessity. Ten years later, we live in a very different time where Tony Stark is a household name and the Joker wins an Oscar. Advances in technology might not have changed outside of efficiency, but the climate for an all-out X-Men reboot (without Wolverine's marketability) is pitch perfect. If there's ever been an opportune moment to educate the masses on the actual, epic love story of Scott Summers and Jean Grey, it's now. Yet we're getting nothing of the like. And who's standing in our way?
Bryan Singer and his attachment to his first films.
Don't get me wrong -- I like him. I like his movies. But he's not doing anyone any good (especially Matthew Vaughn) by handpicking the story to this pseudo-prequel according to what he wants the big picture to look like.
Of course, he's only one of the culprits responsible for "First Class" inevitable disappointment. But that's another talk for another day.