Ben 10: Season Of The Dead

By Ben100000 - Jan 11, 2011 11:01 PM EST
Filed Under: Fan Fic

Mr Smoothy

Ben parks in a spot. "Ben, go get lunch" Ben says trying to imidate His cousin Gwen. Ben opens his door and gets out. "OH MY GOD IT'S BEN 10" a Fan seeing yells. "Man" Ben says poping the dial of the Ultimatrix. He moves it until deciding on an alien with many eyes over his body (except for his face) and a reptile body. He slams it down, at that moment a green flash of light fills the area (1-3 feet). "EYE GUY" Ben says. The fans run to him. "The Prey becomes the Predator" Ben says shooting a laser out of the biggest eye on his body. A firey line seperates the fans and Ben. Ben then slams the ultimatrix. "Big Chill" Ben says then freezing the flames. Ben again slams the Ultimatrix turning back into himself. "Now for Lunch" Ben says walking into the store.

Gwen's House

Kevin sits on the couch. "I'm hungry" Kevin says. "Ben has lunch" Gwen says. Ben opens the door and walks in. He throws the food into Kevins head. "Hey" Kevin says. "What i got you food" Ben says. "Ben what happened" Gwen says. "Follow me" Ben says. They walk out. "Get in the car" Ben says. They all walk into Ben's Car.

Mr Smoothy

Ben parks. They all get out. "My god" Kevin says. "Darkstar" Gwen says. Darkstar begins to clap from atop the building. "Good job lovely Gwen" Darkstar says. "We can take you down" Kevin says absorbing the road, then turning his hand into a mace. "Bring it" says Darkstar. "Wait don't" Ben says poping up the Ultimatrix. He slams it down. "Lodestar" Ben says. Ben throws cars into Kevin. Kevin falls to the ground. "He has Julie" Ben says. "So hand over your power" Darkstar says. "Let her go Michael" Gwen says shooting a long line of Mana at Darkstar."No Gwen" Ben says jumping on Gwen. Gwen falls. "Ben what was that for" Gwen says. "I know how to defeat Morningstar" Ben says transformring back. "I have won" Darkstar says. "Yeah right" Ben says Transforming into NRG. NRG shoots at Darkstar. Ben turns into Jetray. He flies up to Darkstar. He turns into Cannonbolt. He runs Darkstar over. He turns into Echo Echo. He yells at Darkstar. He turns back into his Human Form. "Darkstar where is Julie" Ben says. "The Null Void" Darkstar says. Ben turns into Cannonbolt. He rolls off the roof. Past Gwen and Kevin. All the way to a traliar park. He rolls into a RV. Then turns back. There is a Null Void Projecter.

Null Void

Julie is on a table. "You know how to get the Ultimatrix" Sunder says. Ultimate Swampfire shoots Sunder. "How kind of you to come" Sunder says grabing his Axe. Attacking every attempt he has. Ben turns into Rath. "Let me tell you Sunder The Retriever, when you kidnap Rath's girlfriend you'll get a massive pounding" Rath says. Sunder slams his Axe, but Rath is holding it. "This can all be avoided if you let me have the Ultimatrix" Sunder says. Rath turns into Fourarms. "How about I give nothing" Fourarms says. Fourarms grabs Sunder's Axe. Sunder gets on the ground. "Who wants it" Fourarms says. "Argit" Sunder says. "Argit" Fourarms says. "Yeah me" Argit says. "Argit, How can you stop me" Fourarms says. SevenSeven and SixSix walk beside Argit. "That's how" Argit says. Ben grabs SevenSeven and slams his head on the ground. "Bring it SixSix" Fourarms says. SixSix runs at Fourarms. Fourarms grabs SixSix's Helment and squeezes it breaking it in the processs. Overload runs at Ben. Ben turns into AmpFibian. He shoots Overload with an electric shock. Overload falls down. "Yeah I have to be anywhere but here" Argit says. He runs off. AmpFibian picks up Julie and walks out of the room.

THE END

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Ben100000
Ben100000 - 1/12/2011, 3:53 PM
thenewscore@ Love how almost every comment you make are negative, and i'm not the only one who thinks it and you idiot how can you not look at and say i'm dickhead
yowsaman
yowsaman - 1/13/2011, 3:07 AM
dude you are making slight progress. but sometimes your story's dont make any sense. i'm sorry to say.

ben say's... stacy says... kevin says... you may try to wright it down differently. maybe start a new alinea when someone else is speaking.

also try to explain more of the things the characters do during a fighting scene

for example: *Ben turns into Jetray. He flies up to Darkstar. He turns into Cannonbolt. He runs Darkstar over. He turns into Echo Echo. He yells at Darkstar.*
come on dude. try to brighten it up a bit. it's verry simplistic the way you wright it down now. use your imagination.

otherwise keep on trying and you'll geth there. you are showing improvement from the first things i read from you.
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