Five Of The Most Fabulously Abdurd Gadgets Ever Filmed

5. Robin’s Plastic Lips: Holy lip gloss, Batman! The 1997 movie Batman and Robin will never disappoint when you’re looking for a laugh. I won’t even bring up bat-nipples, just lips. As if Chris O’Donnell’s mouth didn’t already look like it hit the sample counter at Niemen’s, we were treated to this beauty of a plot concoction. Oh Poison Ivy, you were foiled again (much like this attempt at a film). But seriously, you should have known better than to try to seduce Dick. There’s only one cave Mr. Grayson is entering tonight. Just peel ‘em off before you get home to Bruce, Dick. He likes them bare.

4. The Sex Ray: You might know Flash Gordon, but do you know Flesh Gordon? Poor Alex Raymond (creator of Flash) must have done a few somersaults in the coffin when this film was released in 1974. Not quite soft-core (think more Wayans brothers), this parody was released in theaters and actually has some laughable moments. But none are as silly as the main plot’s premise. The evil Emperor Wang from planet Porno is aiming a "Sex Ray" at the Earth. The entire planet becomes hopelessly sexually obsessed, and it is up to Gordon to stop the rays. To this date it is the only film to feature a penisaurus monster.

3. The Invisible Plane: If you’ve ever seen the early episodes of the beloved TV series starring Lynda Carter, you know what I mean. When I was a kid I absolutely loved the “The New Original Wonder Woman.” When I saw it again as an adult, one thing made me chuckle: the plastic transparent invisible plane. I’m not sure why. It’s either the sexy Barbarella-esque music they cue, the fact that in long shots it’s obviously a Wonder Woman doll in the cockpit, or let’s face it — it’s a plastic transparent model. (I’m sure a movie today would know the difference between cloaked and plastic-transparent).

2. The Orgazmorator: Only the minds who brought us South Park, good ole Trey Parker and Matt Stone, could devise this. Finally, it’s what we’ve all been waiting for, a ray-gun battle that has a powerful climax. The movie Orgazmo is well worth seeing, if for no other reason than to see Ron Jeremy do his best to act, as a villain no less. It’s not that a device that induces mind-shattering, spontaneous orgasms is so original (I just got mine on Amazon.com yesterday), but when it’s wielded by a young Mormon missionary-turned porn star-turned superhero you have to kind of take notice.

1. Batman’s Bat-Shark Repellant: Oh, it was on at the same Bat-Time and the same Bat-Channel, but they couldn’t stop until they made this gem of a feature film in 1966. It is the first full-length Batman feature film ever to grace theater screens. Just when you thought the utility belt was sagging too low and the cape was bulging too wide, there was still room for this beauty. This being a full-size can of aerosol spray. When the Bats pulls it out you almost think he’s about to coiffe the Boy Wonder’s “do” with some Aqua Net. But Lo and Behold, it is not hairspray but a repellant to ward off that pesky fake rubber shark nipping at Robin’s heels as they hang over the ocean from the Bat-copter. Oh, poor Robin. I understand when he says, “Not so much teeth.”


I know I could have upped the ante and made this list much longer, but I didn’t want to think that hard. Feel free to add your favorite to this list.