I don't usually do this but i figured that this holiday could use some dark humor for the darker minds so here are the new year's resolution of our favorite superheroes.
Batman - Get less robins killed/ stop obsessing over Catwoman. Superman - Convince Wonder Woman to let him film them in bed so he can sell it and become an instant trillionaire. Wonder Woman - Find a magical condom.
Spider-man - Take over my mind and get help for this double personality disorder.
Guardians of the Galaxy - Get money for advertising so my movie won't flop.
Batgirl - Find courage to reveal secret identity to Commissioner Gordon so that he'll stop trying to shoot me.
Kyle Rayner - Runaway from the Guardians and find Star Sapphire so we can have my-love-didn't-die sex.
Nightwing - Get revenge on Batman for screwing up my life.
Stargirl - Find out why I got stuck with a creepy, lonely, 3 hundred years old alien.
Jason Todd - Get rid of Roy so i can have Starfire for myself.
John Stewart - Hide from the dc editors so they won't kill me.
Ultimate Marvel characters - Show how awesome I am so Marvel my won't end my universe and disapoint my fans.
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