Jman And Johnny Love Movie Review: Transformers Revenge Of the Fallen

ANOTHER REVIEW? What happened to the FIRST, second, third and fourth one?

Ror is not going to like this!

The movie is good if you take it for whats its worth, a popcorn movie. I didnt expect much, thanks to Megan Fox and her "witty" statements!:

“We’re not trying. We’re not pretending this is a story-driven film. It is what it is. Everybody just shut the f#ck up and go have fun. It’s not meant to change your life. If you don’t want to see it, then don’t f#cking go and pay for it. Stay home!

... and so I didnt get disappointed.

I found this while looking for something else entirely different... but it made for a really good read.... enjoy:)

Burning Questions: The 10 Most Confusing Things in 'Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen'
by Matt McDaniel
.
June 30, 2009

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen" made over $200 million last week. What it didn't make, however, was one lick of sense.

Now, suspension of disbelief is usually not a problem for me. Tell me that a billionaire could put on a bat suit and swoop around fighting crime and I'll buy it. Or that a different billionaire could build flying armor in his basement. Or that in the future people will beam onto spaceships with their pointy-eared best friend. I'll accept all of it. I'll even take your word for it that a mechanized alien race can come to our planet, scan some cars, and turn themselves into vehicles.

That being said, there were moments in this new "Transformers" movie that were so confusing, so contradictory, or so corny that they completely took me out of the movie. Even days after watching it, some new inconsistency or plot hole would pop into my mind.

I can hear it already: "It's a popcorn movie. It's based on a bunch of toys. It's just supposed to be fun." And yes, all of those things are true. But that doesn't mean I can't ask questions about what in the world was going on. Here are the ten that I most want answered. (WARNING: contains spoilers).

1. In "Transformers," there was this giant battle in the middle of downtown Los Angeles -- excuse me, Mission City -- that was witnessed by thousands of people at the very least. But somehow the government was able to cover up the whole thing, and now the existence of alien robots is just an internet rumor? How did they do it? Pay off everyone who was there and quickly fix millions of dollars in damage? Also, didn't Keller (Jon Voight) go on TV and tell everyone we were being attacked by "a technological civilization far superior to our own"? How did they spin that?

Shia LaBeouf 2. There are two pieces of the Allspark cube left: the military has one under lock and key, and Sam discovers another. The Decepticons steal one and bring Megatron back to life. But when Sam (Shia LaBeouf) wants to bring back Optimus, he has to find the Matrix of Leadership on the other side of the globe. Why not use the other piece? Mikaela (Megan Fox) has it in her backpack the whole time. It brought his kitchen appliances to life, why can't it do the same for Optimus?

3. Speaking of Megatron's rebirth, when the Decepticons venture deep into the ocean to revive him, the Navy crew tracking them reads five contacts. When they get down there, they tear apart one of the robots for parts to rebuild Megatron. Then as they rise to the surface, the same Navy guys say they spot six contacts. The little "Doctor" robot popped out down there, but he's about a third of the size of a person. Would he have shown up on sonar?

Shia LaBeouf 4. That reminds me: even if I were to forgive the Doctor's German accent -- and director Michael Bay is asking me to forgive a lot of ridiculous accents -- why would a robot need glasses? He has little lenses that flip in front of his mechanical eyes. Couldn't he just get his eyes adjusted? You'd think with all the laser guns, someone could perform a Lasik procedure.

5. Apparently, Transformers can look like people now. How? And how is it that even though the robo-girl (Isabel Lucas) is made of metal, she can still straddle Sam without crushing him. And if Bumblebee knows something's wrong with her, why does he spit antifreeze at her instead of telling Sam? Yes, his voicebox is broken, but wasn't it fixed at the end of the last movie?

Megan Fox 6. The Fallen is the last of the Primes, since they all sacrificed themselves to stop him from destroying the sun. But then he says that Optimus is a descendant of the Primes. First, Transformers have kids? And second, how could he descend from them if they were all dead? And if the Fallen could only be destroyed by a Prime, why didn't the originals just gang up on him back in the day? And what makes Optimus so special, anyway? Megatron beat him earlier, but all it takes is a few spare parts from creaky old Jetfire for him to take out the Fallen?

7. Sam, Mikaela, and Simmons (John Turturro) go to the Smithsonian Air and Space Museum in Washington D.C. to find Jetfire. Then they walk out the back onto a wide open field with old planes and mountains in the distance. When did the National Mall start to look so much like to Tucson, AZ (where they really filmed that scene)?

Megan Fox 8. The geography is just as bad when they go to Egypt. The stone city of Petra in Jordan is over 250 miles away, over mountainous terrain, with few paved roads and the Israeli border between them, so how can they drive from one to the other in a couple of hours. And the Pyramids are said to be shooting distance from the Mediterranean, but they are actually well over 80 miles inland. Even if the Navy ship had a secret rail gun, and even if the captain would take an order to fire from a former agent of a government branch that no longer exists (over a walkie-talkie that inexplicably starts working again), how could it hit a moving target from that distance?

9. Sam briefly dies and goes to Robot Heaven. Robot Heaven?!?!

Megan Fox 10. Where does Sam's bandage come from? What about his extra sock? Why does Sam's roommate not contribute anything at all? What was the Fallen doing for those thousands of years Megatron was frozen in ice? How does one satellite receive transmissions from everywhere on the planet? Why does Wheelie hump Mikaela's leg? Why do we have to see John Turturro's thong? Why are robots who join together to become Devastator also seen fighting the Army at the same time? Why does the government want only our military fighting Decepticons when our weapons seem unable to make so much as a dent on any of them? Why did the ancient Egyptians build a pyramid around the sun-destroying machines instead of just breaking it? Why is the Matrix of Leadership bigger in the Fallen's hand than in Sam's? And how do Mikaela's pants stay so clean?

OK, so I went overboard at the end, but the questions remain. And I'm sure more will pop up next time I think about the movie. But the movie did make a ton of money, and it's earned a solid B+ rating from our users. Maybe I should go see it again. My questions probably won't get answered in a second viewing, but if I can just clear them from my mind I can be in Robot Heaven, t

@ shibazz
I'm realizing now how much you are making sense at 100%, however I must give it to the director for making the movie in such a way that the entertainment factor overpowered any lack of attention to logical details; Bay might not connect the dots well but he can create a damn "good looking" movie, that's why is a genius, and at the end as we can see that's what pays the bills.

It's so much more fun reading about what is wrong with this movie than watching it. Or so I guess. Same thing with Twilight - I've never read, but I sure read a lot of hilarious stuff about it!

But this is about Transformers:

http://www.toplessrobot.com/2009/06/bonus_robs_transformers_2_faqs.php

Although Welker reprised his performance of Soundwave, I couldn't help but notice that they didn't use the voxbox like they did in the animated G1 series. Excellent questions, btw, shibazz!

I hope the comparison to Dark Knight was just in reference to the fact that both movies made the similar amount of money opening weekend because this movie is not even f*cking close to being half the movie Dark Knight was.

YOOOOOO JMAN/JOHNNY @ Nice review guys, very cool!!! ; )
Like JAMEL, he's cool!!! The three J's!!!

Hehehehhehehehehe GENERAL HAWK rules!!!!! ; D

Damn, that put a big smile on face dudes! Heh heh heh! : D

Well i loved the movie ! The JAR JAR BOTS, SKIDS an MUDS were okay made me laugh lol! I found SAM'S parents the iritating ones, especially the mom! ROTF = Big spectacular CGI TRANSFORMERS Blockbuster!!! An it delivered! I would've liked a longer fight scene with PRIME and THE FALLEN at the end but id say 9 out of 10 movie easy! After all ppl cheered when the credits come up at the cinema, an not one person walked out unlike in a certain movie with claws!!! ; D (Heh heh, you knew that was coming, an it was much more than one person too lol).

Anyways loved ya review guys! Friggin A +!!!

An GI JOE = DARK HORSE OF THE SUMMER!!! ; )



Johnny @
; )

Well JMAN @ I cant wait for TRANSFORMERS 3 too!!!

Still want that GI JOE/TRANSFORMERS crossover movie in da future though heh heh!!! ; D

YO JOE!!!!

I second that! ; )

excellent review guys. the Jar Jar bots were annoying but they were funny at times, I loved Soundwave I wish he had more screen time maybe in the next one, I also loved how they brought back the original voice actor for him as well too bad it sounded nothing like the cartoon.

They were comparing TF to TDK in money making only, those two movies can't be compared in any other way they are two completely different types of movies.

@teabag@ I am right there with ya on everyone comparing everything to TDK, It has toned down quite a bit but people are still doing it and it is annoying.

Yeah but WATCHMEN is better than TDK though JMAN! ; )

Well, for me anyway! : D

Heyyyy whats this twitter thing?? Facebook right???

lol. great stuff guys, i don't agree with you! But you have fun and thats what its all about i reckon. As a review..wellllll, you really only talk about the action and effects which everyone agrees are awesome, but don't touch on the leg humping, stoned mother, Satan room mate elements which most people agree sucked ass! But you made me laugh so i really don't care! keep it up

; )

@ Keven
Schindler's List was ok, but it would've been better if it was more like the Dark Knight...

@Jman and Johnny Luv
Awesome Review!

@Leee
I'm right there with you for G.I. Joe. Its really looking like it'll be a fun flick with some good action. Just hope we didn't see the best parts in the preview.

@ Gunsmith
Well said as always.

@Ror
Its a big budget movie about giant transforming robots. The action and special effects are by far the most important parts!

Okay everybody keeps making the argument about "well it's a movie about giant robots that fight each other what did you expect." I'd agree with that if the focus was completely on the big freaking robots kicking the shit out of each other. If this is the "big time summer blockbuster popcorn movie" that everybody says it is and we should ignore all the filler crap in between the action sequences, then why is the filler crap even there? Sounds like everybody would be happier if one of two things happened: 1. the story and acting would be better or 2. there would be no crappy acting and crappy story and more CG robots kicking ass.

KEV



BLOW IT! ; D

Another great review, i liked it! they talked about everything, the action the humor, everything. They didnt bash the film like other people,, they were fine with the stereotypical autobots, as I was. They thought the fallen was great cause he was introduced in this movie, as he was in the cartoon series. It was kool how they had there special guest, because hes black but he not offended by Skid or Mudflap, he loved the move. And I hope to see the next Transformers film as well

jman and johnny love good review guys.

and yes leee777 we love you man

did somebody say, "boobies?"

Transformers in a like piece of old sh*t rotting on the floor. Yeah, it was that bad. I’m just stunned by how bad it was. Yes, I know it’s an action movie and yes, I know it’s Transformers so I shouldn’t be expecting any piece of art but seriously, wtf is up with this movie???????????? It is HORRIBLE. Horrible script; the movie is too long filled with conversations about nonsense and scenes that have nothing to do with anything!!!!!! Do I really want to see Sam’s fathers trying to be funny for an hour?? This is not Seinfeld , it is TRANSFORMERS.

And…OMG please someone tell me what the heck is up with that Megan Fox? Hey Megan, we get that your pretty, we get that you’re sexy, but do you really need to be pouting in like EVERY SCENE? Explosions, people dying but there’s the b*tch putting her sexy face and dressing like a sk*nk for half the movie. Seriously, get Megan out of there and take her to acting school ASAP. Oh and please slap her so she stops trying to be sexy all the time and stops wearing that freaking pink lipgloss. Damn, Sam (Shia) was all dirty and beat up while Megan always looked perfect and flawless all the time. C’mon how freaking annoying. And now we have to see her playing the exact same part of the sexy pouting damsel in distress in Jonah Hex. Jeez. She’s so beautiful but that’s gonna be her ruin if she keeps “acting” like this.