Honestly, I can't think of a fourth reason. There might be a fourth reason...but I can't think of one. Because, you see, one could tell Rocket's entire story in about 10 minutes, and with no dialogue. Here's proof:
QUICK CUTS:
- A group of scared raccoons huddle in the corner of a nasty, old (and clearly alien) cage as a hand reaches in, grabs one.
- We see the hand place the creature on an operating table
- Reveal: Our villain and two scientist henchmen flanking him, ready to operate
- Young Rocket, post-op, is thrown into a cage, in pain, crying, other experimented-on creatures come out of the shadows and comfort him
- We see one in particular, a mechanized otter, hug him close, looking like she's going to cry
- It's later, and they're all playing together...when a henchmen, treating him roughly, takes him to the villain...
Let's imagine, reader, that, what follows here, is the first scene of talking (NO SPOILERS), and it's a scene in the film where Rocket and High Evolutionary talk -- we learn about H.E. and his goals and his insanity. In this same scene, Rocket does the amazing thing that makes him the enemy of High Evolutionary in the picture...and the rest of this story can go back to visuals per the above.
See, we just covered virtually Rocket's entire story, and the above is maybe five minutes of screen time.
So what's my point? My point is this: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 didn't need to be and a two-and-a-half hour drama-fest of tortured animals and sadness. Don't get me wrong, I think it's a great story, and it was smartly told, but if I wanted a movie that was 90 minutes of sadness, death, destruction, depression, and resentment, I'd go see one of those DCEU movies. Pretty much any of them, really. (Yes, I know, there are 2 or 3 exceptions...)
Guardians reminded me of M. Night Shyamalan's Unbreakable in this way: That film, as great as it is, suffers from never allowng its heroes to escape from their own dismal, depressing life...and just when it looks like they're going to, the film ends.
Now, that's not quite what happens in Guardians, but the film seemed to suffer because of the drawn-out melodrama: Every time we got back to the FUN-HAPPY-YAY-YAY Guardians, and a song from Heart of The Flaming Lips played, it felt out of place and forced. Same with the humor. Almost none of it worked for me (to my surprise, the funniest moments this time out were those involving Mantis), always feeling out place in a movie about a dying racoon who, in flashback, is being tortured and watching other random creatures die, a movie about a woman who tragically doesn't recall her true love, a movie about a man drinking himself into oblivion for that same love, and a movie about a group of heroes who, this time out, seem to be bickering far more than usual.
All of the film's third-act payoffs would have worked the same if you shortened Rocket's story, and the film would have been a good 25 minutes shorter without losing anything. This approach to telling tragic stories over the course of 120 minutes would be perfectly fine if I was seeing another Martin McDonagh piece of utter brilliance, but this was a superhero movie about aliens and giant skulls floating in space. I was there for a story about The Legendary Starlord...and what I got was a depressing slog, which, to be fair, ended in a heckuva final battle (quick aside: There was something, a lot of somethings, missing in the film's final moments of celebration. Did you notice what was missing? Try to be careful with spoilers, but tell me if you noticed!).
Many people loved Guardians 3. What did you think? And, even if you loved the movie, do you agree or disagree with the above? I'd love to know! Thanks for reading! Please share it!!